Kids And A Deed To Do
by Nuttyginger
Summary: Fluff Fic! A sequel to Holding On. I said no kids or marriage but i couldn't resist!
1. Default Chapter

Set about 9 months after Tried And Tested.  
OK this works as a stand alone piece if you read the summary the the bootom of this note. But if you've read Holding On, you'll understand this i hope.  
Thanks to Daniel (extraconfused@hotmail.com) for the suggestion of the names as ovious they might be, my trusty 'Name Your Baby' book is fast falling apart due to the amount of names i have pulled out of it.  
Disclaimer: i own nothing, i only like to play with them and they all belong to Joss and Davids imagination, oh yeah and the people they belong to!  
Summary: Ok Angel took Cordelia out for a Valentines Date after he saw he feeling a bit down in the dumps but he realised that he felt more for her than a friend and things got a little hot and heavy, not too hot and heavy though!!!! Cordelia decided that she couldn't run the risk of Angelus running around after they spent a fully clothed night together so she went to the Orecles and guess who was there, Doyle! He told her that they (PTB) had been watching them and hoping. Angel had proved his love when he refused to let anything happen when they were in bed together. She went through the Three Trials and succeeded. Now Boom everybody is happy families and fluffy bunnies!  
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Trama Time.  
  
Cordelia strode happily into the office, shopping in one hand and groceries in the other. she walked through the darkened office, knowing that Wesley had gone home just as she left an hour ago. She struggled to open the heavy wooden door that seperated the apartment from the offices and started down the stairs.  
  
"Honey, i'm home. I bought some food. I know you don't eat but i do. Oh and i got some new clothes, care for a fashion sh..."   
  
Cordelia faded off as she finally rounded the corner into the apartment. She saw Angels back to her, his head hung low and a pair of beige-coated arms around his waist. He slowly let go and turned to her, his eyes sad. She watched as Buffys tear-stained face revelied it's self from behind Angels bulky stature.  
  
"Hi Cordelia, Buffy's here." Angel said in his brooding voice.  
  
Angel felt herheart sink then rise again as she realised that she shouldn't be so quick to judge, after all he had pleaged himself to her.  
  
"Hi Buffy, are you OK?" Cordelia asked in a ginuenly concerned voice as tears continued to fall down the Slayers face.   
  
Buffy looked at Cordelia then at Angel and back to Cordleia. "Angel is there somewhere i can go, just to get myself together?"  
  
"Yeah down the hall and to the right, the guest room. Just make yourself comfortable."  
  
Angel watched as Buffy walked slowly down the hall untill she was out of view before he turned back to Cordelia.   
  
"I know what that looked like but..."  
  
"It's OK Angel, you don't have to explain. What was wrong with her? She looked like she had been crying."  
  
Cordelia depositied her shopping bags on the sofa and walked across towards Angel.  
  
"Um...her mum died three days ago. She had a brain tumour. There was nothing nobody could have done for her."  
  
Cordelia snaked her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. Angel instinctively put her arms around her waist .  
  
"I know you knew Joyce pretty well. Are you OK?" He asked, feeling a stray tear soaking into his shirt.  
  
"Yeah, i'm not the one who we need to worry about. Did you tell her about your soul?" Cordelia asked her head still resting on Angels chest.  
  
"No i didn't think it was the right time."  
  
"What about us?"  
  
"No i didn't tell her about that either. She's only been here for 45 minutes so i haven't had time to tell her anything. She's been crying ever since."  
  
Cordelia pulled away from him and went to the bags on the sofa. "Can you unpack these?I'm going to find out if Buffy is gonna stay for dinner."  
  
Cordelia swayed down the hall and found Buffy sitting on the bed, tears rolling down her face and a ratty tissue in her hand.  
  
"Buffy, God you must be hurting so much. I couldn't imagine losing any of my parents even though i don't speak to them."  
  
Cordelia sat down beside her ex-nemisis and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. He heart went out to the Slayer. Her life, since turning 16, had never been easy. She was pushed into a decidetion that wasn't her to decide and then left to get on with it. Her father lived two and a half hours drive from her and had no idea what her life was like. She had struggled keeping her secret from her mum for so long then when her mother did find out she had tried to wrap Buffy up in cotton wool. But now she was gone.  
  
"God i must look a state. What must Angel think of me?" Buffy tries to stop the tears as much as possible and stood up, adjusting her hair in the mirror.  
  
Cordelia felt a pang of guilt echo through her as she and Angel hid the secret from Buffy, but she convinced himself that it was for her own good. Telling Buffy that the love of her life had moved on and that he was in a relationship with her arc-enemy would just push her over the edge.  
  
"Well i was wondering if you'll stay for an early tea. I'm gonna cook omelets and your in no state to drive home."  
  
"Yeah, i would like that, but i need to phone Xander to take care of Dawn and find out from Giles how the funeral arrangements are going. For once Sunnydale is having a normal funeral without me having to wait and stake what ever rises."  
  
"Yeah here use this." Cordelia tossed Buffy her cell phone. "It's my phone, it's linked to Angels and Wesley plus it's charged to the business account so talk as long as you like, Angels picking up the tab."  
  
Buffy looked at Cordelia curiosy. "Won't Angel mind? After all he owns the business."  
  
"Nah, he doesn't mind. I use it if i get a vision or if i need a taxi service. Let me know if you need any help."  
  
Cordelia left the guset room and Buffy followed behind talking somberly to Xander then Giles, who tried to talk her out of staying, if it weren't for the mention of Cordelias name, Giles would have hummed and harred for another 10 minutes before Buffy finally hung up. Cordelia found Angel still unpacking the groceries she had bought, noticing her shopping bags lying on their bed. Cordelia walked over to the cooker and put on the hob. She set a pan on the hob and put olive oil in it.  
  
"What do you think you are doing?" Angel asked, mockingly.  
  
"I'm making omelets brood-boy. What does it look like." Cordelia said pulling the eggs she had just bought out of the fridge.  
  
"You are NOT cooking in my kitchen! I remember last time i left you in the kitchen, you left cheese stuck to the pan and the cooker in a state. NO!"  
  
Cordelia continued cracking the eggs, hiding her smug smile very well.  
  
"Fine, we'll do this the hard way."   
  
Angel lunged forward his fingers poised. He went right for her side. Cordelia squealed out in delight as Angel tickled her to the floor, moving to her sandal-free feet. She screamed again untill finally giving into Angels mercy.  
  
"Fine, fine. I said OK. Let me up. Well if your gonna cook it better be ham and cheese omelets 'cos scrambled eggs is getting boring."  
  
As if suddenly realising that they were being watched both Angel and Cordelia pulled themselves off the floor and continued in the kitchen, swapping duties. Buffy watched confused at what had just happened but having no energy to ask for an explanation she just sat down at the table. Cordelia sat down beside her while Angel carried across the two plates of omelets and a mug to the table. He sat down and handed Cordleia and Buffy the plates. They both began to eat while the Vampire waited for his blood to cool down from it's nuked temperature. Cordelia lifted the fork up to her mouth, feeling the slight thumping in her temnples but feeling it too late to do anything about it. Angel watched in slow motion as Cordelia closed her eyes and began convulsing at the table, He watched the plate smash on the floor followed by Cordelias body. Angel dove to save her head from hitting the slate floor, sending his mug of blood flying in the process. He caught her and gently lay her, still fitting, in his lap stroking her hair in comfort. Buffy rushed to their side, confusion and fear clear in her face.  
  
"What can i do?" Buffy asked in a soft whisper.  
  
"Get a glass of water and the pills in the cupboard above the sink. Oh and grab a pen and paper from the table over there."   
  
He pointed to the coffee table. Angel turned his attention back to Cordelia, whispering in her ear. She slowly came to and her surroundings came back into focus.  
  
"What did you see Cora? Here." Buffy handled the pills to Angel who in turn fed them to Cordleia.  
  
"Oh this one was good, well not good as in no thumping headache but good as in i know what's going on. It was in the city, a woman was dead but there were twin babies, a boy and a girl. We've to rescue the babies, it's too late for the mother, she's already dead. The babies are special, they have the energy like the Oracles did. Phone Wesley and get him over here, we have..." She looked at her watch, "Two hours to sundown, before every vampire and demon sets their sites on those babies."  
  
Angel ran over to the phone and furiouly dialed Wesley cell number. He was there within ten minutes with every text that wasn't in the libary in the apartment and the scroll.  
  
"Right Cordelia tell me what you saw." Welsey asked pulling out the ancient scroll.  
  
"There were two babies, a boy and a girl. Their mother was dead and they were all alone in carriers. I was told that the mother was meant ot be dead, it was all part of the plan they said."  
  
"Who said?" Wesley and Angel asked together  
  
"The voice that was in my head telling me. I've never heard it before, but it told me where to find them and what to do about getting there. It said that 'They are the Keys to Successtion.' what ever that they are and that we've to rescue them for the time being. The voice gave me an address as well."  
  
"Curious. Well i can't find any text using a referance to any twin babies living in LA or at all that are anything special. Are you sure."  
  
"Yes you thick twit. I got the vision...and the pain...oh yeah and the smell. Oh shit, the two hours are up. Come on Angel we have to go now. Buffy you stay here, your in no shape to fight. Wesley summon Dennis over here, he'll take care of Buffy while you research."  
  
With Cordelias orders they left, climbinging into the black convertible. They sped through the city to the apartment Cordelia had seen in her dreams. It was in a nice area but the advanging darkness made it look sinister and uninviting. Angel and Cordelia pulled up to the apartment building that Cordelia had seen in her vision. Angel busted the door open, with a well aimed kick to the handle, to 295 Belmont Street and entered the eirley quiet apartment. He knew that the woman was already dead because of his ability to enter the apartment without invitation. He heard a small cry from a bedroom off to the hallway. Angel started off down the hall, Cordelia followed behind making sure that they didn't pass the wrong room. Angel went into a room and found two cribs lying side by side, one was pink and the other painted blue, each containing a baby. Angel saw the womans body lying beside the pink crib, looking peaceful like she was only sleeping. Cordelia saw Angel crouch down beside the crib and she walked to his side.  
  
"There's no bite marks or bruises from a struggle. I don't know how she died." Angel said, his confusion face in plain view.  
  
Cordelis noticed a bracelet around the womans wrist and a thin silver chain around her unmarked neck. She turned the womans wrist over and looked at the bracelet. Her eyes scanned the room and settled on the changing table near the crib.  
  
"Some detective you are. She epileptic." She flashed the Medi-Alert bracelet his way. "She had a fit and hit her head on the changing table behind you. I don't think she suffered."  
  
Angel looked at his seer in amazement. "I amit, i'm impressed, but what about the babies? Do we call Kate? Or do we call Social Services?"  
  
"I don't but we can't leave them here. We can take them back to Angel Investigations then decide what we should do about them. I'll grab some clothes and dipers. Their bottles and sterilising stuff should be in the kitchen, go get some. Remember their twins so you'll need at least two of each thing brood-boy."  
  
Angel shock his head at allowing himself to be ordered about by Cordelia but he went anyway. He reappeared again, his arms full of bottles, baby formula, and sterilising fluid. Cordelia took them from him and divided it up between the two bags of clothes, toys and dipers she had already packed. He marvelled at how together she was. He creapt back out of the door to watch Cordelia pick each baby out of their colour coded cribs and into their colour coded carriers. She fussed over their jackets and fiddled around as she tried to put on their tiny bobbled hats on their small black haired heads. The babies, to Angel, both looked identical to each other only seperated by the different coloured jump-suits they were wearing. He walked into the living room looking for any clues to who the mother might have been. He noticed an old opened book lying on her coffee table. Angel picked it up and immediatly noticed it was in Latin. He didn't have to time to read any of it as he heard Cordelia shout out his naem. He slipped the book into the inside pocket of his duster and hurried back through to the babies room. He was greeted by Cordelia swinging a diper bag onto his shoulder and placing a pink carrier into his arm. Angel looked down into the deep chocolate eyes of the pink clad baby on his arm. He lost himself inside the swirling deep of her eyes seeing pure, unconditional love. He had only seen that once since Liam turned 19 years old. He felt inable to draw himself away until Cordelia nuged him in the direction of the front door.   
  
They walked akwardly down the corridor, not used to carrying the four bulky packages they held. Cordelia welcomed the sight of the convertible sitting on the sidewalk waiting for them. Angel placed his persious pink bundle into the back seat and placed the blue carrier that Cordelia had been carrying beside it and strapped them both in. Cordelia pulled over the soft top covering to sheild the babies from the cold. She climbed back in the front and Angel drove away. They had just pulled out of the junction at the end of the road when Angels cell phone went off. Cordelia hastily grabbed it from Angel duster pocket.  
  
"Hello Angel Investigations. We help the helpless. Cordelia speaking." Cordelia played out on answer the phones srill tone.  
  
"Hello Cordelia, It's Welsey. I found some information about the babies in the scroll. It says that they are the Alpathe` twins. One is a boy and one is a girl? Am I right?" The English mans voice asked.  
  
"Yeah, one is a girl in pink and a boy in blue. Their mother was dead when we got there, she had an epiletic fit and hit her head. We couldn't find any sign of the father. We're bringing them back to AI with us. How's Buffy?"  
  
"Buffy's OK. Dennis has been making her coffee and bring her tissues all night. She was a bit worried about having a ghost in the house but when i explained to her about who, what and why he is what he is she warmed to him nicely. She's in the guest room sleeping. She must have took the news about you and Angel rather well, because she hasn't mentioned it."  
  
"She doesn't know yet so don't go saying anything to her. We didn't think that she can handle another blow to the system. We'll be home in 30 minutes. Can you hide my clothes if she hasn't all ready found them. Thanks."  
  
Cordelia hung up the phone and smiled at Angel as they roared across LA.  
  
Meanwhile:  
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BUffy stirred from her slunber. It hadn't been a peaceful one, all she saw was her mums face lying their on the ocuch, peaceful yet looking lonely. She had died by herself, without anyone to hold her or support her or just to stroke her hair and tell her that she was going to a better place. Buffy started to cry again but tried to force the tears back so the other wouldn't see her weakness. She walked across the hall to the bathroom. She pulled the light on and smiled at the familarity of the room. She could smell a scent that seemed all around the apartment, and in here was no different, it was stronger. The hint of mint and tea tree swirled around her making her feel light headed. She saw the source sitting on the egde of the shower cubicle, a bottle of herbal mint and tea tree shampoo. She saw Angels gell and moose in the middle of an aray of cosmetics, toners and soaps. Oviously not Angels. Buffy ran her eyes confusingly over the rest of the bathroom. A white silk robe hung on the back of the door and a bottle of midnight blue nail varnish with it's remover sat on the sink. 'God i HOPE their not Angels.' She thought to herself. She was disturned by excited voices in the living room, and since she and Wesley were the only people in the apartment and Dennis couldn't speak that meant Angel and Cordelia were back. The crying of a baby confirmed her thoughts. She wander through to find Wesley still hunched over the scroll, two diper bags hovering in mid air before finally settling on the sofa next to Wesley. Her face turned from confusion to amazement and disbelief at what her eyes were seeing. She watched Cordelia as she picked up a crying blue bundle out of a baby carrier and sway it and her body gently while whispering to the bundle. It slowly quietened down and Cordelia mused over it, gazing into it's eyes. Angel already had a pink bundle in his arms who was now quiet, he too gazed into her eyes, lost until Wesley purposely cleared his throut and Cordelia began to speak in hushed tones.  
  
"So Wesley, who are they? You said that you knew that they were a boy and a girl so you must know something."  
  
Wesley noisely spread out the scroll on the coffee table, being hushed by Cordelia to be quiet. "They are twins. Very important twins at that. They are mentioned in the scoll as the Alcalde` Twins or The Keys To Successtion. Don't worry their not demons as in bad demons or even demons with horns. They belong to The PTB. The twins are the next in line to be the leaders of the PTB. The children are born to a human mother so she can teach them the human ways of life and so if need be they can decend to Earth when their older and blend in among people easily. Their mother brings them up as her own until they are 5 years old when their powers begin to show then she must guide them and show them how to use their powers for the greater good and the side of the light. The scroll is very specfic." Wesley stopped a moment just to make sure that Cordelia and Angel were still following him. "She guides them untill they are 21 when they take their place on the 'throne' one might say."  
  
"So why is their mother now dead? And why were me and Cordelia sent to find them?" Angel asked, the babe still in his arms.  
  
"I'm getting to that. Here in the scroll, close to where it tells of Angels Shansu it talks about the Souled One and his Seer of Sights. It says, 'The Souled One and his Seer of Sights must bring the in the new to replace the old, and support the great fight.' and then there is a Latin phrase 'Tempori Parendum' It means Temperory Parent. You have to take the mothers place and bring up the children. It then goes onto say something about 'The Souled One and his Chosen Seer of Sights will be joined. Bound by Trust and Carried by Hope.' I still haven't figured that bit out yet. Congratulations, you've just become parents to the PTB baby boy and girl."  
  
Cordelia and Angel looked at each other in utter disbelief and then at the sleeping babes in their arms. Cordelia stood unusally speechless while Angel just kept staring at the baby he held.  
  
"I guess you will be getting that new apartment together after all." Wesley said, a huge grin on his face. "I'll find a way to move Dennis into it, when you find it, and keep him there. Something tells me your going to need him more now."  
  
"We can't be parents, we don't know anything about children, Cordelia never wanted children. We talked about this when we first found out about the curse and we both knew that Vampires can't have children, only in rare cases. It's just no practical." Angel said, stuttering over his words.  
  
"Angel, i only said i didn't want kids with anybody else but you, not that i never wanted to be a mum. I though if things worked out between us that we could adopted or something. I mean your a Vampire with a soul, you've broke every rule going so you could have broke the infertile one. What is wrong? Don't you want children with me?" Cordelia hushed tears threatening in her eyes.  
  
"Of course i want children with you. It's just i'm shocked, plesently, but shocked none the same. We don't have any cribs or baby stuff. We aren't ready for this Cordelia, i mean Buffy's here and she doesn't know anything about the Shansu, the scroll, the babies, even us. She's been through too much this week to land this on her."  
  
Buffy peeled herself out of the shadows and walked slowly into the living room, silencing the crowd there and making each of them shift uncomtabley, looking everywhere but at her.  
  
"It's too late, Buffy knows everything." Buffy said slowly, as she felt her heart weep but it didn't break like she expected it to do. "I know about what the babies are, i knew when Wesley first found it. I know what the scroll is but i don't understand long lost languages. I kinda guessed about you and Cordelia, i think the nail varnish, the robe and two toothbrushes gave it away. I can't say it doesn't hurt but i know what it's like to love and how you can't forget or do anything about the feelings. It kills you if you don't do something about them. I'm happy for you but i'm worry about the whole curse. Which brings me to my next question; Do you love her Angel?"   
  
Angel looked at Cordelia and smiled, she smiled back at him.  
  
"Wesley, make yourself useful. Grab the carrrier and the diper bag and follow me, Dennis, you to. I think Angel and Buffy need space to talk."  
  
Angel gently lay the baby girl back into her carrier and handed her gundingly over to Wesley. Cordelia and Wesley left the two ex-lovers alone in the middle of the living room.  
  
Cordelia placed the carriers on the bed in their room and montioned for Dennis to follow her. They both went into the bathroom and hushed whispered could be heard from behind the door, well at least to Wesley who was eavesdropping.  
  
"Dennis, i know you like Buffy but you're my ghost. Go spy on them then come back to me and write down what they say. Can you do that for me?"  
  
The hot spurted into life and steamed up the main mirror, and spelt out the letters. 'Y.E.S.A.R.E.Y.O.U.S.U.R.E?'  
Cordelia simply nodded her head and the ghost flew out of the now open door.  
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OK that's Part One. Part Two in the post ha ha ha. Sorry! Please tell me what ya think and i would be very grateful coss it makes me smile good or bad! 


	2. Plans, Plans, Plans

This is Part Two! Wahey! I wrote this while I had the flu (which suxs!) So I didn't take as long as I thought it would. I hope you like it. There is still more chapters to come.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only like to play with them and they all belong to Joss and David's imagination, oh yeah and the people they belong to!  
Summary: OK Angel took Cordelia out for a Valentines Date after he saw he feeling a bit down in the dumps but he realised that he felt more for her than a friend and things got a little hot and heavy, not too hot and heavy though!!!! Cordelia decided that she couldn't run the risk of Angelus running around after they spent a fully clothed night together so she went to the Oracles and guess who was there, Doyle! He told her that they (PTB) had been watching them and hoping. Angel had proved his love when he refused to let anything happen when they were in bed together. She went through the Three Trials and succeeded. Now Boom everybody is happy families and fluffy bunnies!  
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TWO KIDS AND A DEED TO DO!  
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Angel stared at the shattered shell that contained his former lover. She had taken the news about her mother hard and Angel felt distressed at the fact he couldn't sympathised. He had no soul when he killed his mother and father, he didn't know what the initial thoughts were only the after effects when he received his soul back. He led her to the sofa and sat her down.  
  
"I know this wasn't the way I wanted you to find out; I wanted to be the one to tell you. I though you might have took it a bit worse than this and we, me and Cordelia, didn't want to tell you 'Cos you were in a bad enough state before."  
  
"Angel, you know about Riley, well he left me. I got a chance to move on and I don't see why you shouldn't have the same chance. Mum's death brought it home, as if I didn't know already, that life is far too short to worry about other people. You being a Vampire means immortality but I never want you to be lonely, you brood too much when you are. I am worried, no terrified, about the curse. If you love Cordelia and...well I can't kill you right now, I'm too tired. Please don't put either of us through that again. I don't think Cordelia has thought about this."  
  
"Buffy, don't worry, there is no more Angelus. When me and Cordelia realised how we felt about each other, she went away to the Oracles Chamber and asked them to make my soul permanent. She found Doyle there and he said it was predicted and Fate. Cordelia went through the 3 Trials to prove herself to the Gypsy Council and well the rest you can guess. She passed and we have had no Angelus's on the loose so far. I hope you understand this. You have to accept it like I had to accept you and Riley, which I am sorry about. I know how much you wanted a normal life and everything."  
  
"I understand and I guess once I've get over the shock of mum it will hit me but I will try and not be a bitch about it. After all you've just became a dad, something I could never had given you. I have to go back to Sunnydale tonight because Giles arranged the funeral for the day after tomorrow, in the morning. Can you tell Cordelia I would like her to come. I know you and mum didn't see eye to eye after the whole, 'I screwed you daughter now I'm an evil, sadistic killer' thing but I would like you to be there, at the wake I mean. The funeral is during the day."  
  
"Well stay with us tonight and we'll take you back with us to Sunnydale for the funeral." Buffy just nodded.  
  
  
Dennis floated from the living room and back into the bedroom where Cordelia was changing the babies. He picked up one of lipsticks on the table and began to write on the mirror.   
  
'H.E.S.T.I.L.L.L.O.V.E.S.Y.O.U.!'  
  
Cordelia grabbed the hovering lipstick and growled. "Dennis, that's Angels favourite one. How could you?" Cordelia sensed Angel approaching the bedroom. She grabbed a tissue off the table and began to smudge the writing off the mirror, without much luck.  
  
"Cordelia what are you doing?" Angel asked in a concerned, non-amused voice.  
  
"Dennis was trying to have a conversation through the mirror again." She continued scrubbing and Angel picked up the wreaked lipstick  
tube.  
  
"Dennis, this is the 'Plums and Cherries' how could you? I bought Cordelia that for her birthday. I'm gonna buy you a paper pad and a marker pen, lipstick costs too much. Cordelia you'll might need to pack a few things. Buffy asked if we would go to the funeral. I said that we would give her a lift there tomorrow night if we were going."  
  
"Yes I would like to go but we have to new problems. One; we have kids to think of now and Two; we have kids that have no crib, noclothes, no nothing but what we grabbed."  
  
"Tomorrow take my credit card and Buffy and go baby shopping. It might cheer her up a bit. I will turn the guest room into a nursery until we move. While you shop I'll apartment hunt via the paper. OK?"  
  
"Yeah, I get your credit card, of course I'll go . We have got to stop calling the babies, the babies! They'll get a complex."  
  
Angel looked fondly at the little girl squiggling about on the king-sized bed. She smiled back up at him and blew tiny bubbles out of her mouth. "She reminds me of my sister Cathy when she was first born. I was 19 and at first I seen her as competition then I quickly realised she was the best thing in my tainted life. I taught her to swim and ride, she was a good at drawing like I am. I loved her as much as you can love one person. Can we call her Catherine?"  
  
"Yeah, I love that name. You'll need to tell me more about you sister one day. So do I get to name the boy then? I wanted to call him Francis after Doyle but I think he will get teased at school for it. I'll call him Alain. He suits doesn't he? Where are they gonna sleep tonight? They can't sleep in their carriers all night, it's not good for them."  
  
"If we grab your cushions from the sofas, then we can pad out the bed and they can sleep with us. Just as well the bed is so big. I explained to Buffy about us. I think once she comes back to real world she is gonna hate our guts but she seems aright so far." Angel giggled to himself and pulled Cordelia into his body.  
  
"What?" Cordelia protested.  
  
"I was just thinking about them calling us mum and dad. It is gonna be so strange. I never thought I would hear any child call me their father. Are you sure about this?"  
  
"Angel, incase you didn't hear Wesley, who has been sent for baby formula, this is Fate. We can't change and I don't want to. I know that your Shansu isn't gonna happen for lifetimes yet and I have only dreamed of having a family with you. Now we get the chance and I get to max. out your credit card. I have one query. What about birth certificates and medical records?"  
  
"Well Wesley said that they were born to a human mother so I guess they would be at her house. If I hurry then I get back there before the cops are called and people start sniffing around."   
  
Angel grabbed his duster back from the bed and headed out of the door. Cordelia heard Buffy get up and go into the guest room. The late-night radio filled the air as LA.FM played out the love songs hour. Wesley was next to enter the apartment, his arms filled with dipers, baby formula and 2 huge teddy bears, one pink, one blue. Cordelia busied herself while Alain and Catherine were asleep by getting the big cushions off the sofas and making a make-shift bed on the big think rug on Angels bedroom floor. She lay them carefully on it after sending Wesley home for some rest. Cordelia had phoned the Sunnydale Hotel and booked a double room with two cots. I felt weird to her but some how it felt right.  
  
  
  
Angel returned back to the apartment just before sunset and climbed into bed beside Cordelia, tip-toeing around the sleeping babies just below his side of the bed. He tried not to wake his sleeping girlfriend but as he kissed her collarbone she shivered and turned to face him.  
  
"Hey you." She said her voice full of sleep. "What took you so long?" She noticed the digital clock sitting on his bed-side table, it said 04:30.  
  
"I was just leaving the mothers house when Kate showed up with her squad. She saw the mother body lying on the floor and the babies missing. She thought that I had killed the mother and took the babies. I showed her the medi bracelet, told her that I was there because the mother was one of the people I was trying to protect and that the babies are with their father abroad. She seemed to buy it but I think we might be seeing her again soon. How are the kids? And Buffy?"  
  
"Catherine and Alain are fine. Wesley went home about 1:30 and Buffy went to bed about 30 minutes after that. She's taking this thing with her mum really badly, not that I blame her. She was listen to the Love Hour of LA.FM, I didn't know what to say or what I could do. I booked a hotel room in The Sunnydale Hotel for the weekend, they're giving us cribs and everything. I booked it for over the weekend since I think it may take a while to explain this to everyone. I mean it will thrill Giles no end to find out that we work for the Great Powers but the anchored soul is gonna knock his magickal pride a bit. This is just gonna piss Xander right off to find out we're together and that we have kids. Willow will volunteer for  
permanent baby-sitting duties. Then when the shock, surprise, and thrills all wear off they are going to hate us both for stabbing Buffy in the back. This is going to be tough for the both of us. I don't know how long I'll be able to take it."  
  
Angel took Cordelias hand in his and smile slowly. "Your not going to HAVE to take it. I'll be there. We'll go through this together."  
  
"Fair enough. Now you look exhausted and paler than usual, sleep. We have a few long nights ahead of us. Oh yeah I rung Wesley and Wesley found Gunn. Their staying here to watch over the city and deal with any visions I get." She pulled the cord above the headboard and switched off the light.   
  
Angel snaked his arms around Cordelias waist and pulled her into his bulky form. She fitted perfectly in-between his pec muscles and stomach. He let out an exaggerated smile.  
  
"Honey, your wearing clothes again. I'm hurt." Angel pouted in a pretend hurt voice.  
  
"Get off. It's too cold tonight and I don't want to wonder up in the morning in the buff to find Buffy sitting at our kitchen table. I don't think that would be a good thing right now, do you." Cordelia turned her head back around and snuggled deeper into Angels body. "Don't forget I'm going shopping tomorrow. Night." The room was silent.  
  
  
Cordelia woke the sound of a giggling emanating from the floor beside Angel. She got up and peered around the edge of the bed to find two deep, brown eyes staring back at her. Cordelia picked up Catherine and took her through to the bathroom. She haphazardly laid the changing mat on the  
wooden floor of the bathroom and dragged the diper bag over before lying Catherine on the floor. She gently pulled off the baby-grow and changed her nappy, holding the lightly perfumed bag at arms length before flinging the sealed bag across the floor towards the kitchen.  
  
"Eww! How can such a cute, tiny baby fill a nappy with a substance that could only be described as demon goo." The baby just stared back at Cordelia, it's plump little hands playing with the little silver cross that her mother had given her for her 6th birthday.  
  
She carried Catherine back through to the kitchen and placed her carefully in her carrier. Her musing was disturbed by a shrill cry from the bedroom and sent her running towards the sound. She tried to reach the room before Alains crying woke Angel from his much needed sleep. She peered around the door edge to find Alain in his fathers arms, no longer crying instead now gurgling with laughter. Cordelia stared at the scene in front of her, her life unfolding in front of her very eyes. He looked so natural with a baby in his arms yet as a Vampire he was never meant to be a father.  
  
"I'll take him thank you very much. Now you go back to sleep. Oh before you do, give me your credit card. I've got some seriously spending to do today."  
  
Angel handed his credit card over grudgingly and watched as desire danced in her eyes. She then took the baby out of Angels arms and took him through to the bathroom to change.   
  
  
She stared proudly at her two new children that sat in front of her. It suddenly hit her that she was now a mother. A picture of sleepless nights and endless washing sprung into her head. She shuddered at the thought. She poured a little of the milk formula from the bottle onto her hand and smiled when it didn't seem too cold or burning hot. A scuffle from her far left startled her.  
  
"Oh this is a scene no one back in Sunnydale would believe." Buffy said motioning her hand at Cordelia sitting with two bottles in her hand, feeding the two little babies in front of her.  
  
"I know, I better get used to it as Mr Broody-Features tends to sleep during the day. I was wondering, we don't have anything here forthe twins and I have control over Angels one and only credit card, so I was wondering..."  
  
"Cordelia get to the point." Buffy stated annoyed.  
  
"I get to go shopping today, with Angels credit card, for the twins, and I want you to come with me. Girl bonding, take your mind off whatever. Just say yes."  
  
"Great (!) you, me, and a 24-hour mall. God what have I let myself in for?"  
  
Cordelias face lit up as a cup of coffee and a bagel drifted to the kitchen table.  
  
"Hey Dennis, your my ghost not hers." Cordelia pouted.  
  
"What can I say? I attract dead guys, literally."  
  
  
The two girls walked down the sunlit street, four bags in each hand totalling over 16 bags between them. Cordelia had picked up an outfit for Joyce's funeral, as well as cute dresses and cowboy dungarees, tiny trainers and shoes. The cots, changing table, and buggies were all ordered to be delivered at night when the couple got back from Sunnydale. 'It's gonna be like Christmas for the next week.' Cordelia silently to herself.  
  
"Buffy I know this mus..."  
  
"Cordelia don't say anything because this, my acceptance of this, isn't gonna last long when I get out of this depressive streak I'm in and get back to slaying. I told Angel that moving on is good but to you, that hurts, kinda. I know you were never part of the Scooby Gang but we took you in and let you in on our little secret while you went on about how staked Vampire dust dirtied your car or some big demon interrupted your date plans with the football squad. I've seen you and Angel together, I've never seen him laugh or smile like he does when he's with you. It's not fair, you can give him everything I tried to but I could. I'm the Slayer, I should be about to give him children and make him giggle and beam and I should be able to give him everything but I can't. Not even my strength could save my mum."  
  
"Buffy, your mum had a tumour. Your strength couldn't have saved her. If I know anything about Fate, and the headaches make me an expect, you couldn't have stopped it. Come on we better get back to the office, we have to unpack these bags and repack to go tonight. Are you staying at home or are you going to Giles?"  
  
"I think it would be better for Dawn if I stayed at home from now on." Buffy said sadly.  
  
"Who is Dawn, you keep mentioning her when your talking about your mum and 'The Key' who is she as well?"  
  
"Dawn is my sister." Buffy noted Cordelias bewildered look. "Magical sister, I have to protect her and make sure she's safe from Glory." Another confused look filled Cordelias face. "Glory is trying to kill Dawn and take her energy. Glory is a demon who has a major goddess complex. We have to try and kill her before she kills me or Dawn."  
  
"God Buffy, how do you cope? I mean first you have to protect this sister and make sure she's safe while still fighting every Tom, Dick, and Harry demon that decides that it wants to kill the Slayer. Then you have to deal with your mum dying and coping on your own. How do you cope?"  
  
"I have friends." Buffy simply said.  
  
The two girls finished their journey down the street and back to the office about two hours before sunset.  
  
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There is a point to this Chapter. it's a scene setter (I Think) Tell me what ya think please. 


	3. Saying Goodbye

Written while listening to Shiver and Trouble by Coldplay for insperation! I think a little trip to Sunnydale is in order here. Oh yeah and the spell checkers off-line just now so umm...excuse the spelling mistakes.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only like to play with them and they all belong to Joss and David's imagination, oh yeah and the people they belong to!  
Summary: OK Angel took Cordelia out for a Valentines Date after he saw he feeling a bit down in the dumps but he realised that he felt more for her than a friend and things got a little hot and heavy, not too hot and heavy though!!!! Cordelia decided that she couldn't run the risk of Angelus running around after they spent a fully clothed night together so she went to the Oracles and guess who was there, Doyle! He told her that they (PTB) had been watching them and hoping. Angel had proved his love when he refused to let anything happen when they were in bed together. She went through the Three Trials and succeeded. Now Boom everybody is happy families and fluffy bunnies!  
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The journey to Sunnydale in the rented people carrier had been stained and silent to say the least except for the continual breathing of the babies and their mum, and the light guitar strumming of a country station on the radio. They had been travelling for 2 and a half hours and were just pulling up to Giles house. Buffy had sat in the back of the car with the babies, musing over them when they whimpered or making cooing noises at any excuse except to think about her mother. Cordelia was sleeping in the front seat, exhausted after a hard days shopping and a violent vision. Angel slouched in his seat as he thought about the last few days. They had found an apartment and were going to see it as soon as they got back, well Cordelia was because the guy who was selling it was only availble during the day. Giles house slowly came into Angels view as he slowed down the car and woke Cordelia.  
  
"Cordelia, honey, wake up. We're here. You wanna grab the babies and get the bags?"  
  
Buffy climbed out of the car and wandered mournfully up the stairs to Giles apartment. She looked back, watching Angel and Cordelia dragging the baby carriers out of the back seats of the people carrier. It was going to take her a while to adjust to the fact that Angel was never going to come back to her, that he had a new life. She had guessed when she showed up in LA a few months ago and told him that she had Riley and didn't need him. She had known it the moment she saw his figure retreating after the Graduation Day fight. She had known it in her heart for a long time but she would never give up hope. Buffy knocked on the large, patterned wooden door that still had the dents and nicks in it from resent and passed demon intrustions. The door was opened to reveal a tired looking Xander. His face brighten up straight away.  
  
"Buffy your back. Thank god, we didn't know where you had gone. Willow and Giles said you phoned but they never said where you were. Are you OK?" He slid his arm around her sholder and pulled her into a hug.  
  
"Hey Xand, i'm fine, well sort of. Is Giles home?" Buffy smuthered her head into Xanders chest.  
  
"Giles Buffys back from where ever she went." Xander shouted through the house. Buffy walked straight passed him and into the apartment. "And Cordelia's here...with a baby." Cordelia walked passed him and stood in the entrance hall waiting for Angel. "Oh we're a family again, Deadboys here...with another baby. I don't get this."  
  
"Nice to see you to Xander. This is Catherine and that is Alain." Angel introduced. "Can you get Giles please, someone needs to ask me in."   
  
Giles appered in the door way to find Cordelia standing inside and Xander in a very confused state. "Oh Angel, i suppose you better come in."  
  
Angel winced at the distrust and hate that burned in the Watchers eyes. He didn't blame Giles, he had, after all, killed his girlfriend, put Buffy through hell as well as every member of the then Scooby Gang and broken his surrogate daughters heart. He didn't blame him at all.  
  
"Hello Giles, i'm sorry for being late. Cordelia had a vision so we had to let Wesley and Gunn know, then we had to stop and change the twins."  
  
"Wesley? Visions? Twins? Angel what are you talking about?" Giles led Cordelia and Angel through to his living room.  
  
"I get visions of people in trouble from the PTB, the Powers That Be, thanks to a cute, bad dressing friend of mine before he died. They kinda hurt and are icky much. The twins are mine and Angels."  
  
Giles face widen in shock and horror. "You and Angel have 2 children together? Correct me if i am wrong but Angel is cursed against pure happiness unless only Bu...Cordelia i'm sorry."  
  
"What? You think only the Slayer can give him one moment of happiness? I don't think. His soul is bound, no more Angelus, only Angel. I did it, well Doyle kinda helped me. The twins don't belong to us and i never gave birth to them plus you know Vampires can't have any children. They were a gift from the PTB. Their real mother died and we were told to take care of them till their 21 and take their place on the throne. It's a bit complicated and Wesley is still reading into it."  
  
"Why do you keep mentioning Wesley? What has he got to do with this?" Giles ran an exhausted hand through his greying hair.  
  
"Angel can explain the rest, i'm gonna say hi to Willow and Oz." Cordelia walked into the living room.  
  
"Wesley works for me. He used to be a Rouge Demon Hunter after the council fired him but after Cordelia got kidnapped and then when we rescued her he gave it up. Now me and Cordelia are going to get going to the hotel. Cordelia is going to the funeral and i'll be at the wake, i hope you don't mind but Buffy did ask me to be there."  
  
"It's Buffys choice, it isn't my mother funeral. I have one warning for you though Angel, you hurt Buffy and Jenny, i'll never forgive you for that but you hurt Cordelia as well and i'll hunt you down. The Gang are and always be like my children even Cordelia."  
  
"I understand."  
  
Angel walked slowly away from the tired man into the living and clocked eyes on Willow playing with Alain in her arms. Cordelia was fussing at Willow for not holding his head properly will a blonde haired girl he didn't reconquise watched. Xander sat on the other couch with his arm around a girl he vagily recalled as the ex-vengance demon. The ex-demon was sitting glaring at Cordelia with a protective hand over Xanders lap.  
  
"Hi," Angel sheepishly said. He still wasn't comfortable around the group he nearly killed or put in hospital. "Cordelia are you about ready to go yet?"  
  
Cordelia looked up at him with her 'take me away from here' eyes. "Yeah sure, here take this." She handed Angel the diper bag and plucked Alain back from Willows arms. The red head stared at her with a disapproving scowl. Her features quickly soften and she instead reached over and hugged Cordelia tightly. Xander was the next to stand up. Cordelia hugged him gently, smiling smugly at Anyas exasperated and jealous face.  
  
"Just remember he's my boyfriend now and we have better sex than you ever did." Anya retorted, still not getting the reasons for tact that Xander had been teaching her.  
  
Xander stood uncomfortably in front of Cordelia. Cordelia went to defend herself but Angels deep voice stopped her.  
  
"Anya, let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Cordelia and our two children, Alain and Catherine. Now we're going back to the hotel. Anya, i don't think you have anything to worry about as far as Xander and Cordelia are concerned. Faith and Xander...you may have a slight problem there, she gets out in 6 months on parole."  
  
Angel guided Cordelia and Alain out of the house with his hand placed on the small of her back. He took great delight in listening to Xander try and explain about Faith while Anya just slung insults at him.  
  
  
The Next Day:  
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Cordelia stood awkwardly under the Oak tree watching Willow and Xander comfort the sobbing Slayer and her sister. Cordelia desperately wanted to be part of that group, to drown in her grief to whisper reassurences between them, seeking comfort in each others arms. She knew what the grief was like, she had lost Doyle and had only coped because she had her best friend, Angel, beside her. But Cordelia had no right to intrude in the trios group hug because she wasn't apart of that group anymore. She had forefitted that right when she walked out to LA, and now any chance of seeking their forgiveness had been lost now she and Angel were a couple. Buffy turned around and looked up to the tree at Cordelia standing there. She glared as her face twisted into a look of hate and discust.  
  
Cordelia had driven back to the hotel as Willow Xander and Dawn left to head back to the Summers house. She watched Buffy from the car as she knelt down by her mothers coffin and kissed her two fingers, placing them lightly on the walnut coffin and whispering goodbye to the wind in a hope her mother would hear her.  
  
Cordelia found Angel fully awake in the sunlight-free room, a bed-side lamp on providing the light. She saw Angel sitting on the couch in their suite with Catherine and Alain lying in his arms. He was busy reading them an extract from his lastest detective novel about a Russian spy.  
  
"You do realise that at only three months old, they can't understand why a dead man found on a New York rubbish heap is linked with some sex-bomb KGB agent in Moscow."  
  
"They can and it's an old battle axe agent in St. Petersburg. Are you ready to go to the wake? They are sleeping and all ready to go and if you give me a minute to put a shirt on i'll be ready to go as well."  
  
"Angel, i'm...i'm not going. I don't think i could face anymore moarning. I know it sounds harst but it...brings back memories of Doyle." She lied. She didn't want to face Buffys warth now that the funeral was over.  
  
"Cordelia, we said we would do this together, i promise i won't leave you alone."  
  
"Angel just go please." Cordelia yelled but quickly softened. "Please honey, i'll be fine. It's Buffy who's your ex-love not mine. Plus i don't think that wake is any place for babies, do you?"  
  
"No. For once your right. God remind me never to say that again."  
  
Cordelia weakly smiled as Angel planted a delicate kiss on her cheek and headed out the door with a wave.  
  
  
'The sunroof firmly closed? Check. The windows up? Check. 20 minutes to sunset? Check.' Angel completed his mental checklist after running from the hotel to the People carrier under a blanket. He headed over to the Summers Household unsure of what to expect but dressed in his usual black etire. By the time he got there everyone had found their way from the cemetery to the house without much trouble or unexpected meetings. Buffy and Giles stood at the door welcoming people and listen to their hollow apologies for her mothers lost.   
  
Buffy stood mindlessly next to Giles, regestering he was there and shaking peoples hands but not hearing a single word they said. Her mind raced with so many thoughts it was like the day when she could read peoples minds. Her head hurt and she just wanted to be left alone. Their sorrys meant little to her, they didn't know what her mother was like, they knew the work collogue or the person who helped out at some school funtions but they didn't know her mother. Then there was the train of thought where Angel exsisted. He was here in Sunnydale, she thought. She wasn't sure of much involving Angel anymore. Buffy remembered going to LA and she remembered Cordelia having a fit then they both ran out saying something about babies and who was the ghost? The little incident where she found Cordelia and Angel rolling about on the lino kitchen floor, laughing, playing in her mind. She had never made him laugh like that, for all she had saved the world, she couldn't make the man she loved laugh. Buffy watched as he walked up the path towards her house, without Cordelia or any babies in tow. She could still feel him, sense him and it drove her crazy.  
  
"Hello Buffy, sorry i'm late but the sun...Cordelia won't be coming, she said sorry but it reminds her too much of when Doyle died."  
  
"I'm glad YOU came, it means a lot to me. I saw Cordelia at the funeral earlier. Come in."  
  
Angel walked into the house to find Xander staring at him in a hateful glare and Willow not quite sure where to look. Tara handed Angel a glass of wine unaware of who and what he was.   
  
Buffy busied herself,a little happier now that Angel was there, with some guests that were her mothers work friends. More sorrys. The words she could handle, the pity in their eyes she couldn't so Buffy excused herself and headed upstairs. She flung herself down on her bed and pulled her favourtie teddy bear close to her, taking in it's comforting familairty.  
  
  
Angel sat on the couch, listening to everyones conversations about Joyce Summers. Buffy as no where to be seen. He came here for one reason and he had to find Buffy in order to give his reason and leave.  
  
"Dawn, have you seen your sister, Buffy?"  
  
Dawn looked at the Vampire confusingly. "Yeah she's lying on her bed upstairs. I think she's crying."  
  
Angel found Buffy still crying, playing with the little silver ring on a chain around her neck. She sensed him long before his chizel chined face appeared around the door. She stood up to greet him.  
  
"Hey." Angel said softly, wiping a stray hair from her wet cheek. "Your not doing so well huh?"  
  
"No." Buffy nodded. "Angel i've been thinking. You said you wanted me to have a normal life right." The Vampire nodded. "Well my normal life took off in an army helicopter, i don't want a normal life. You said once all i had to say to get you to stay was that i didn't love you and i didn't have the strength to. I do now. I don't want you to walk out that door and go back to LA, i want you to stay here with me. I don't love you anymore." Buffy slipped her arms around the Vampire neck. "Didn't you hear me. I don't love you anymore."  
  
Angel stood there.  
  
  
Cordelia handed the carriers over to Willow. She had decided to come after all because they needed to go back to LA. Sunnydale wasn't for her anymore and after the killer look Buffy had given her that morning she wasn't going to risk staying while an emotionilly instable Slayer thought over her ex-lover. Cordelia took the stairs two at a time and heard muffled voices as she stood on the landing, across from Buffys room.  
  
"I don't want you to walk out that door and go back to LA, i want you to stay here with me..."  
  
Cordelia adjusted herself in the hallway to see Buffy slip her arms around Angels neck, playing with the silky hairs at the back of his neck. Cordelia couldn't listen anymore and stormed into the bedroom.  
  
Angel whipped around to see Cordelia standing in the doorway, her hands planted firmly on her hips and an angry scowl across her face.  
  
"C...Cora this isn't what it looks like. I promise you." Angel stuttered out as Cordelia walked futher into the room.  
  
"I know Angel, I heard the whole thing outside. Buffy take your hands from around my boyfriends neck and wipe the smirk off your face 'cos it's never gonna work. Me and Angel took a while to get where we are today and i'm not going to let someone like you, who thinks the whole world should bow down and worship her, take it away from me or our children. I'm sorry your mum died and i know that you have a lot to cope with but that does not give you a reason to go and take my man."  
  
Buffy took a step back from Angel and looked at him for some sort of back-up. "What you are just going to let her talk to me. I knew you hadn't changed Cordelia Chase. The kids aren't even yours. I think Wesley made some sort of mistake when he was translating. Nobody in their right minds would let you be a mother."  
  
Cordelia dove forward passed Angel and arrived at Buffy. She reconsidered for a moment then lift her hand against Buffys face with a crack. Angel leaped forward and stood back between the girls knowing full well that Buffy would retaliate.  
  
"Buffy that was below the belt. Don't take this out on Cordelia, she didn't ask for any of this. I thought we got this sorted in LA. I am with Cordelia now, i love her very much and we now have the chance to bring up 2 beautiful children. I wouldn't have come back now or anytime in the last 9 months. I have been the happiest i've been in over a 150 years. Buffy think about it, we caused each other nothing but pain, hurt and misery when we were together and when we were apart i did nothing but brood and wish you were there. I gave up my humaity in order to save you and all you did was slap me in the face over Faith. God Buffy get a grip of yourself, move on and take care of your sister because she has just lost a mother. Willow and Xander have just lost their mother figure and Giles has lost his Slayers mother and a trusted friend. God open your eyes and stop being so selfish."  
  
"I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. Angel just leave. You to Cordelia." Buffy slumped to floor and lost herself in her tears.  
  
Cordelia was led slowly away by Angel. They picked the children from a scornful Xander downstair who looked at them questionably.  
  
"Xander i know what you think of this and i don't really care, but take care of Buffy, she's gonna need it." Cordelia said as Angel gathered up the babies things.   
  
They walked out of the Summers household, never looking back only looking forward to the future, together.  
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That's Part Three. Part Four called Baby Steps will be up as soon as it is written (ha ha). I hope you like it so far. Let me know if you do and don't plus any ideas you have for a fic called 'Baby Steps'  
Nuttyginger 


	4. Baby Steps

Disclaimer: i own nothing, i only like to play with them and they all belong to Joss and Davids imagination, oh yeah and the people they belong to!  
Summary: Set 6 moths after Part Two. Angel is looking back over the last 6 months of having Catherine and Alain in his care. A maturnal event leaves Angel wonderingf about the twins future.  
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Baby Steps.  
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* Today provide one of those memories that make being immortal not all that bad. In fact the last Six months have provided memories that will make my unnaturally long life that little bit easier to handle. I happened like this:   
  
Cordelia was out for the day at an audition and i was left to babysit, not that i minded. It has brought me so much happiness to watch Catherine and Alain grow, a happiness i never thought i would feel again. They started to speak about 3 months ago. Alain was the first to speak, his first word was mamma, which kinda of upset me. Catherine spoke later that day. She looked at me with her big brown eyes and smiled, or broke wind, and she said dadda. I have never felt so happy. Just as well my soul is bound or i would have lost it when the babies first arrived in our life.   
  
I had just finished the manly task of changing both dipers and i sat Alain down at his activity center. Catherine had crawled over to the sofa and started to pull herself up. She was always trying that but she would get to the top and hover on her feet before falling back down onto her butt. She would look over at me with her liquid eyes with a look that said 'Stop Laughing And Help Me.' I had tried to help her walk but Cordelia insisted that the books said it was too early. So far these books haven't mentioned any special rules about babies that were gifts from the Power That Be. Catherine had fell over again but she landed with a heafty bump. She started to cry and crawled over to me.   
  
I know your meant to love all of your children equally but i can't help it, Catherine is my favourite. She reminds me so much of my little sister. Just like her, Catherine can wind me around her little finger. I can see this having problems when she starts dating. Does the future queen of the PTB date. That's another thing that bothers me about this looking after them thing. I won't get to see her marry, i won't see her go through Collage. Neither Alain or Catherine are going to have kids, that we know of. That i won't ever have grandchildren. I know that i should be very grateful for even having the chance to bring up children but i wish i could watch them grow up into doctors or whatever ever they want. But they don't have a choice, they're like Buffy, she didn't have a choice when she was called.  
  
I picked Cathy up and carefully put her back on her feet. I held her around the waist as she wobbled around. She took a few tentative steps forward, her arms out. I could hear the diper rustleing against her legs as she waddled about under my support. She seemed to find her feet so i let her go, expecting her just to fall. She stood still for a few second before her body seemed to take on a life of it's own and started to move forward. She stumbled forward for about four steps before crashing to her knees. I watched my daughter take her first steps. I couldn't believe it. Catherine turned to look at me smiling like she knew that seeing her first steps had filled me with so much love.   
  
I have now one more memory i can warm myself by when Catherine and Alain have taken their place. Me and Cordelia can swap their childhood stories when she is 41. Then i will have the memories of the three of them together when Cordelia is gone. I will have photographs that will join the creased ones in my box. A box that contains the momentos of both my lives. I long ago accepted that the memories whould have to be enough until my Shansu happens, but these are special memories, these are memories i never thought i whould have. 


End file.
